Are the Ori
by Aesop
Summary: What are the Ori besides 'Hallowed'
1. Chapter 1

H ARE THE ORI

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Stargate: SG1 or any of the characters, and I earn no profit in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was a completely random idea, and there's no real point to it. If anyone has suggestions for continuing it or just want to tell me this was a stupid idea, feel free. Read and review.

"Hallowed are the Ori!" the Prior intoned and the villagers answered in kind. The members of SG6 knelt with the villagers, playing their part dutifully until the Prior left. As soon as they were able, they dialed the gate and returned to Earth.

"I'll say one thing for the Priors," the newest member of SG6 commented as they arrived back home, "they put on a good show. Puts the bible thumpers back home to shame, way they carry on."

"It does seem to be one of their defining characteristics," Teal'c, along with the rest of SG1 were waiting to head out.

"No kidding," Sam agreed. "Histrionic are the Ori."

OOOOOOOOOO

"Ten worlds in under a month?" Landry slapped the folder down. "This can't go on. I need a solid plan for defeating or at least slowing them down."

"We're working on it sir," Carter answered. "There is some… well not good news, but a possibility."

"Let's hear it."

"Three of the worlds, according to our intel, were still under Goa'uld control. Ba'al's territory. He's gotta be pretty pissed."

"Are you suggesting he might be an ally?"

"Not really, sir," Daniel answered. "We could never trust him. However, I don't think he's going to sit idly by. If we increase our efforts to gather intel on Ba'al's activities, we might be able to take advantage of whatever he does. At the rate they're gobbling up what little he has left, he's bound to do something. His few remaining holdings will probably be targeted soon."

"He's right, sir," Mitchell agreed. "Hoggish are the Ori."

OOOOOOOOOO

"Well that worked out better than I expected," Mitchell noted. "Ba'al may not have done much damage, but he slowed them down."

"And the counter attack killed how many of his clones?" Daniel asked.

"I counted six," Cam replied leaning back in the conference room chair. "Helpful are the Ori." Landry shot SG1's leader a look, but didn't comment.

OOOOOOOOOO

"Ba'al pulled a good trick," Landry said to the IOA representative. "We've been able to follow up on what he did. The same trick won't work twice, but there are endless variations."

Wolsey allowed a slight smile. "So the reports indicate. Harried are the Ori."

Landry repressed the desire to scowl. That was getting old.

OOOOOOOOOO

"Good read?" Daniel asked, sitting down across from general Landry.

"Book of Origin," Landry grunted. He finished the passage he was on and looked up. "A lot of this is disturbingly familiar."

"Well many faiths do express similar ideas," Jackson allowed. "The same moral lessons are common in many religious doctrines and they can be expressed in only so many ways."

"Just a little disturbing to find what sound almost like bible passages in a book used to justify the horrors the Ori are responsible for."

"Perhaps, but what they use those words to justify doesn't sully the words themselves. Besides, the ideas expressed aren't exactly original. The Ori aren't the only ones to put them forth. They weren't even the first."

"Very true," Mitchell said taking a seat at the commissary table next to the general.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed, sitting down opposite him. "Hackneyed are the Ori."

He raised a hand and Mitchell met him in a high-five, much to Landry's irritation.

OOOOOOOOOO

We've managed to disrupt their shipbuilding schedule, but it's getting harder to stay one step ahead of them."

"Cam's right, sir," Sam agreed. "Sooner rather than later, they're going to anticipate one of our raids and figure out our tricks. We need to do something big, and soon. Right now, hobbled are the Ori, but it won't last."

"Smooth, colonel Carter," Landry grunted, "but could we lay off the Ori jokes?"

OOOOOOOOOO

_This is getting ridiculous_, Landry thought. He wasn't even sure why he found it annoying. Some of the variations had been really funny, but it was becoming a running gag.

"-homoousian are the Ori," he heard one of the gate techs comment to another as he passed by. Landry paused for only a second. _Homo-what?_ He resumed the walk to his office after that second, deciding that he really didn't want to know.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Stargate: SG1 or any of the characters, and I earn no profit in writing this.

"Unscheduled off-world activation!" The announcement rang through the base and brought General Landry and Colonel Mitchell to the gate room.

"Report."

"We're receiving a signal sir, message from… General Aefari, speaker for the soldiers of Origin." He blinked up at his commanding officer who looked as surprised as he felt.

"I guess they replaced Addria," Mitchell commented.

"You mean-"

"Yes sir. Hailing are the Ori."

"Et tu, Walter?"

OOOOOOOOOO

"So what did this General Aefari want?" Daniel asked as he and Mitchell made their way to the commissary.

"Not sure what he intended, but Landry made him mad, and it degenerated into a tirade. 'Soldiers of the Ori this' and 'grand destiny' that, you know the stuff."

"Ah, haranguing are the Ori."

"Pretty much."

OOOOOOOOOO

"Was it necessary to annoy them?" Wolsey asked in a peevish tone. Landry wondered if he had any other kind these days.

"It wasn't intentional," he protested. "All I did was point out the logical flaw in the general's proposal."

"Perhaps it was the way you did it?" Acid dripped from the other man's tone.

"Is it my fault that humorless are the Ori?" _If you can't beat 'em…_

OOOOOOOOOO

"How long has that been going on?" Garshaw asked curiously, staring after the linguist from SG9.

Sam sighed. "A while now. It was funny for a time, but it gets old fast."

"I see," the Tok'ra commented in a tone that indicated she didn't.

"It's common practice among the Tauri to mock our enemies. You might remember that General O'Neil is especially good at it."

"I remember," Garshaw allowed a slight smile. "Why bother trying to infuriate an enemy that is not present, though?"

"Practice," Mitchell answered with a grin, falling into step beside them. "Heckled are the Ori." Sam winced.

OOOOOOOOOO

The last of SG3 dove through the gate. "Close the iris!"

It slid shut just in time. The was an audible thud as the remains of something big struck the side facing the event horizon.

"What happened?" Landry demanded.

"Looks like they're getting wise to us, sir," the team's C.O. answered. "They were laying for us. Must have guessed we might hit that target. We barely got out." He looked around at his team, noting with relief that no one was seriously injured.

"Well it was bound to happen," Landry sighed. "Was that a missile they launched after you?"

"I think so, sir. Hacked off are the Ori."

OOOOOOOOOO

"There are so many reasons that couldn't work," Sam commented as they settled in for the debriefing.

"So why'd they try?" Vala asked.

"Our new Asgard technology, and the uses we're putting it too must be giving them fits. I'm not sure I'd call it desperation, but it's becoming clear they're trying to get creative with tech the Ori gave them, just not very successfully."

"If their attempts lead to displays like, that," Vala snickered, "I hope they continue to be just as successful."

Mitchell chuckled. "Half-baked are the Ori."


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Stargate: SG1 or any of the characters, and I earn no profit in writing this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had to backtrack a bit to make these work. I'd been moving in a linear fashion through season 10 and beyond. I blame JRABBIT for this chapter.

Three SG teams, SG1 among them had been forced to their knees by the guards and kept covered at all times. They'd been this way for several minutes, kept waiting, when Adria entered the room. She looked down at them contemptuously, wondering how these oh so ordinary humans had caused the Ori so much trouble.

"Hallowed are the Ori," she addressed the room in general.

"Hallowed are the Ori," her guards intoned in ritual response.

One of them, Feretti according to his uniform, was blatantly leering at her. "Hot are the Ori." It was barely above a whisper, but she heard him clearly. Her shock at being spoken of in such a manner quickly gave way to fury, but before she could decide how to kill him, there was a resounding slap and the man's head nearly bounced off the floor.

Glancing to his left, Adria saw Vala Mal Doran glaring daggers at the speaker and then slapping the back of his head again.

OOOOOOOOOO

"Adria is your daughter?" Feretti asked, blinking at her owlishly. "How's that work? I thought you were in the Ori galaxy less than a year?"

"The Ori artificially accelerated her development," Sam answered. "She grew up in a matter of days." Vala nodded, looking distinctly unhappy.

"So who's her dad?"

"No father," Vala answered. "The Ori got me pregnant."

"Huh. Horny are the Ori?"

--

"All right, Colonel Carter," Landry sighed. "Do you want to tell me why Vala broke Feretti's nose?"

"She moved faster than me, sir."


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Stargate: SG1 or any of the characters, and I earn no profit in writing this.

"Go! Go! Go!" Mitchell sent a spray of automatic fire back toward the soldiers attempting to cut off the British team. The major in charge turned to add to the cover fire.

"Nutters," he declared, driving them back. "Don't they realize what's about to happen? When that generator blows, anyone within five klicks is gonna fry."

"They think their gods will protect 'em," Cam answered as the pair retreated through the gate, the last to do so. "They won't believe that the Ori are gone." He shook his head. "Fanatics."

"Howlin' are the Ori," the major agreed.

OOOOOOOOOO

"This is a new approach," Sam scowled at the portable computer, frantically typing. "They're trying to download the Ancient database remotely."

"Can you counter it?" Cam asked, careful to keep a safe distance from the 'head-grabbing-thingee.'

"We wouldn't even know it was happening without the new Asgard technology. Give me a little time." She went back to work.

"Ferretti, this is Mitchell. How long can you hold?" He nodded at the response over his headset. "Do the best you can. We need a little time here. Hacking are the Ori."

OOOOOOOOOO

"So they didn't get the Ancient database?" Landry asked.

"No, sir," Sam shook her head. "I was able to block the download, but the device was destroyed in the process. We didn't get it either." Landry sighed and nodded.

"Would have been nice," he commented, "now that we actually have a safe way to get the information, but keeping it out of enemy hands is more important. Good work, people."

"Maybe…" Daniel began thoughtfully "…we did get something useful out of it."

Sam shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Daniel. We were unable to retrieve any of the data."

"Do the Soldiers of Origin know that?" he asked with a growing smile.

"No," she admitted. "I don't see how they could. What are you suggesting, Daniel?"

"What if we did retrieve a little data, say the location of the infinite treasure? Or a list of gate addresses to planets with other archives? If that bit of information leaked to the enemy, they'd have no choice but to show up in force to try to claim it, even if they thought it was a trap."

Landry considered for a moment. "If the information comes to easily, they'll never believe it.

"Things have been going our way lately," Mitchell pointed out. "We've seen them do some pretty desperate and stupid things."

"A desperate enemy is a reckless enemy," Teal'c agreed. "Nevertheless, they will be wary."

"I'll need to see a solid plan soon if we're to take advantage of this," Landry said sitting back. "Start hammering it out." He brought an end to the meeting and SG1 began to brainstorm.

--

"How may ships?!" Cam asked.

"All of them, I think," Vala stared at the screen. "Looks like they suspected a trap and showed up with enough force to overwhelm whatever we had waiting for them. They're approaching the third planet."

"So, are we ready?" Cam glanced at Sam who smiled and nodded.

"Let's go then. Activate the decoys."

From the shadow of the uninhabited system's first planet, signals began to emerge. On long range sensors they were indistinguishable from Goa'uld ships, lots of ships. Two Ori vessels remained in orbit, scanning. The rest moved to engage the phantom fleet.

"Dial the gate," Mitchell said, smiling. "Release it into the sun when ready." He activated the comm. system. "General Landry? Hooked are the Ori."

"Very good, colonel," Landry answered from the bridge. "Reel them in."

OOOOOOOOOO

"The decoys worked perfectly, sir. And the sun went nova right on schedule."

"Any survivors?"

"We think one or two Ori vessels might have gone to hyperspace in time. The Jaffa are tracking them now. They'll contact us when they find something."

"They've already started taking back worlds they lost," Daniel interjected. "There are a few strongholds, but without the support of their fleet…"

"History are the Ori," Cam finished enthusiastically.

"Don't jinx it, colonel."

THE END


End file.
